Jill Duggar’s husband Derick Dillard just dropped a bombshell for fans of Counting On and 19 Kids and Counting: The married couple of five years may be using birth control.
While that wouldn’t be such shocking news for most couples — particularly those who already have two little ones at home — 28-year-old Jill’s parents have been vocal in their disapproval of birth control and famously left family planning ‘up to God,’ welcoming 19 children in all.
But when Derick, 31, wrote in a new blog post that couples should be having sex at least five to six times a week, fans questioned how they could be doing that without conceiving another baby — leaving to a shocking revelation from Derick.
Poppin’ Pills, Jill? Derick Dillard has implied that he and his wife Jill Duggar are using birth control
Christian copulation: The 31-year-old shared his ‘hot love’ tips, which include having sex nearly every day
Bring on the condoms! When a commenter asked how they could have avoided pregnancy, Derick said it was a misconception that they don’t believe in birth control
In June, Jill shared her marriage tips on the family blog, making headlines for offering plenty of advice about sex.
Today, Derick followed that up with his own post, which also advised bedroom activities as a top priority.
‘Have lots of good sex!’ the father-of-two wrote. ‘You both need this time together regularly (5-6 times (or more) a week is a good start).’
This was an increase from Jill’s suggest three or four times a week — and left followers with some questions.
Many commenters reacted in shock to the high number, calling it unrealistic and too much. And at least one wondered how they could be doing the dirty quite so often and avoid a pregnancy for so long.
‘How are you guys having sex 5-6 times a week and you aren’t pregnant again?? You guys don’t believe in birth control so there are some lies in this somewhere. Lol,’ the commenter wrote.
Glove-less love: Jill’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, have spoken out against birth control
Spiritual spermicide: The two had 19 children and have made it clear they like to have sex — but they leave family planning up to God
Open door policy: The two used birth control early in their marriage but Michelle says she experienced a miscarriage while taking it
‘We never said we don’t believe in birth control,’ Derick replied, calling it a ‘misconception.’
‘My parents waited 11 years to start having kids, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Each Christian family should follow God’s leading for their own family, regarding when and how many kids to have.’
It’s worth noting that Derick didn’t explicitly say that he and Jill use birth control or family planning of any kind, just that they never said they were against it.
Some commenters have suggested that he used the vague wording on purpose to divert attention from possible fertility issues.
Either way, his words certainly deviated from the Duggar party line.
Jill’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, have been very outspoken against birth control, and it was assumed that their adult children had all followed in their footsteps.
Certainly, many of them are reproducing quite quickly: Jessa, 26, just welcomed her third child in four and a half years of marriage.
Baby train: It was believed that their kids followed in their footsteps (pictured: Josiah’s wife Lauren, cousin Amy, Joe’s wife Kendra, Josh’s wife Anna, and John’s wife Abbie, all pregnant)
Oldest son Josh, 31, is expecting his sixth child with wife Anna, and Joe, 24, is expecting number two with wife Kendra, whom he married in 2017. The other married Duggar children all already have children or are expecting them within months.
It has seemed that most are living by Jim Bob and Michelle’s lesson. The parents, who have 19 kids in all, had actually used the Pill themselves when they were first married, after welcoming son Josh.
Michelle has said she got pregnant while on the Pill, and it resulted in a miscarriage.
After that, they decided to leave family planning up to God, having as many children as He saw fit to give them.
But Jill — who had two difficult deliveries with four-year-old Israel and two-year-old Samuel — may not be following that path.
She gave birth to her youngest in July 2017, and said in a recent Instagram video that she is not pregnant again.
Her uterus, her rules: Jill and Derick are the only couple that have hinted that they don’t follow Michelle and Jim Bob’s teachings on the subjects
Orgasm central: Derick and Jill have now both spoken out about their supposedly active sex life
If she and Derick are in fact having sex as much as they say, it does seem likely that they are practicing family planning.
What will Jim Bob say? Though Jill has stuck to nearly all the rules, she has become one of the more ‘rebellious’ Duggars
Derick said in his new blog post that married couples should be doing it all the time.
‘Guys, you need to keep yourself “joyfully available” for your wife, because only you can fulfill certain desires she might have,’ he said.
‘And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate. Let your spouse know that you’re always available,’ he went on.
He echoed a previous post by Jill, warning others to ‘guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone’ — meaning, not to masturbate.
‘Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting!’ he said.
His post — which shared his recipe for ‘hot love’ — also including tips like being humble and honest, praying, encouraging each other, abstaining from gossip and name calling, and showing PDA.
Gettin’ kinky in Arkansas! Jill has also been promoting sex games on Instagram lately
Hot, steamy Duggar sex! She previously shared this photo showing her copy of the Kama Sutra (top right) and a sexy bedroom game from the Dating Divas (left)
He suggested having pet names like sugar plum, honey boo, baby doll, sweet butter cup, or schnookums, scheduling date nights, getting periodic counseling, and being open about finances.
Derick’s advice was quite similar to words of wisdom that Jill shared several months ago.
She encouraged couples to have frequent sex, to save sex only for each other (in other words, no masturbating), and to do sexy things like have the wife rub lotion on while her husband watches.
‘Have sex often!’ she wrote. ‘You both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start. lol).’
Like Derick, she said that sometimes, it’s not possible to have sex at least every other day, and referenced possible health issues. Though she didn’t name any specifics, Jill did go undergo C-sections with both of her sons.
‘And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate,’ she said. ‘Let your spouse know that you’re a;ways available.’
Do it, ladies! The mother-of-two similarly shocked followers with a blog post detailing her marriage advice
Referencing masturbation, she added: ‘Guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone.’
‘Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting! (Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Corinthians 7:5),’ she went on.
‘If you’re struggling with sex with your spouse, GET HELP! See a doctor and/or licensed counselor and don’t be afraid to get second opinions!’
Jill also advised that wives ‘get new lingerie (online is an easy way to buy!) as a surprise gift for birthdays, holidays, vacations or whenever!’ and go to bed ‘fresh’.
‘Showering in the evening (and sometimes before he gets home if you arrive home before him!), and even putting on fragrant lotion in front of him can be another way to say “I care” and “you’re important to me,” and lets him know you’re up for fun whenever he is,’ she wrote.
Jill is clearly ‘up for fun’ the moment her husband walks through the door — and suggested that wives ‘run’ to their husbands when they get home ‘like you may have done when you were first dating.’
Family planning: The couple has two children, a four-year-old named Israel and a one-year-old named Samuel
‘And if the kids are gone, have fun with it! Be crazy with your hubby!’ she added.
Finally on the sex front, she said to ‘give at least a 6 second kiss when coming and going’ and ‘be confident about your body’ even if you’re feeling insecure.
‘Chances are, he is less concerned about the things you’re worried about him not liking than you are,’ she wrote.
‘He will be happier when you are confident about yourself. And if there are things you can change or do to be more confident about yourself, then maybe it’s worth doing, or setting a goal to eventually get there!’
Jill’s frank sex talk came as quite as a surprise for those familiar with the Duggars. Following the rules set by her parents Michelle and Jim Bob, Jill and her siblings have all followed incredibly strict standards when it comes to dating and contact with the opposite sex.
Rather than date traditionally, the Duggars prefer ‘courtship,’ which they say is ‘dating with a purpose.’
Taking abstinence to a new level: Jill and Derick married in 2014 and didn’t share their first kiss until their wedding day
Not holding back: Jill’s tips in her marriage blog post were uncharacteristically candid about sex
Typically, this involves the young man asking for the permission of the young woman’s parents, and the couple gets to know each other on supervised dates on which they are always accompanied by chaperones.
During that time, physical contact is limited to side-hugs, which prevent the scandalous full-frontal contact of the two bodies. The Duggars’ parents have also been included on text message chains.
Chaperons continue supervising a couple through their engagement, during which time they can add hand-holding to their side hugs.
However, kissing — and everything that comes after it — is saved for the wedding.
When Jill married Derick in 2014, they shared their first kiss at the altar in front of their friends and family.
But Jill’s recent explicit sex talk is a break from family tradition. Her siblings have mostly not referred to sex at all — except in the case of older brother Josh’s dating profiles on sites like Ashley Madison, as well as his apology for porn addiction and adultery.